It was just a kiss
by Daughter of Eve1
Summary: A kiss can let you know how someone truely feels. Lex/CLark


It Was Just a Kiss  
  
By: Daughter of eve and Heather. (thank you)  
  
Disclaimer: My good lord Michael Rosenbaum is hot- Oh wait this is the   
part where I tell you something else you already know – I don't own them.  
  
  
I can't believe he kissed her. He's supposed to be my best friend and he   
kissed her. I went over there, like I always do, up into the office and there   
they were, Lex and Lana kissing. I was excited about my birthday, in four   
days I would be 18. In a few weeks I would graduate from high school, I   
just wanted to spend some time with my friend. The last thing I expected   
was to find his lips locked with Lana's. The kiss looked mutual, Lex's eyes   
were closed; Lana's back was towards me. I couldn't stand to look yet I   
couldn't look away. It should be me not…  
Lex seemed to have felt me in the room because he broke the kiss, surprise   
and the realization that he'd fucked up big time, caught in his eyes. I find   
myself swearing a lot lately, so forgive my choice of language. As Lana   
turned her head she couldn't even meet my eyes. At least Lex had the   
courage to look at me, though his face was so full of regret and mine so full   
of anger I bet he wished he could just look away. My eyes watered but I   
would be damned if either one of them saw me cry. I was still trying to get   
over the whole surreal image of Lex and Lana, Lex and my Lana- like that-   
when Lex's voice broke through.  
"Clark I…" Lex began, but I cut him off.  
"Let me guess, this isn't what it looks like." I turned and walked away, too   
angry to trust myself not to punch a hole in the stonewalls. I heard heavy   
footsteps behind me; one pair but I didn't turn- not even when I heard my   
name, called out in pain. As soon as I was far enough away I ran, shit, tears   
were actually falling from my eyes, my best friend had betrayed me.  
I didn't take Lex's call that night and he didn't try again. I wasn't going to   
call him but he seemed to give up damn easily, which made me even angrier.   
It was like he didn't even care that he'd ruined almost four years of   
friendship.   
It's been four days and today is my birthday. Chloe and Pete found out what   
happened. It's hard keeping things from Chloe. They both know I haven't   
talked to Lex in four days, and I've talked to Lex every day for the past three   
years.   
It seemed the whole school knew how I felt about Lana, and I haven't talked   
to her either. Not that she's even tried. In school she walked by me quickly   
with her head down. One time I actually thought she was going to speak, but   
then thought better of it and walked away. I try not to think of either one of   
them, but trying doesn't do a damn thing. I was angrier with Lex then with   
Lana. Yes, Lana knew how I felt, but Lex was my best friend, and he knew   
my heart. Lex had pushed me towards Lana from day one. How could he do   
this?  
What happened put a damper on my small party, and it ended early. I then   
retreated to my solitude in the four walls of the barn. After all, "Silence is a   
true friend who never betrays" –Confucious. Confused about how I felt and   
how I feared, I couldn't even begin to face how I truly hurt I was.   
I heard him pull up to the house, but I didn't move.  
I heard him enter the barn, but I didn't turn.  
I heard him come up the steps, but I didn't greet him.  
I can be very stubborn when I'm pissed off.  
I continued to stare out into the night, concentrating on the stars and the   
silence of space, and not on the man standing behind me.  
"Clark?" Lex questioned quietly, though he already knew I was there.  
I didn't answer.  
"I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and give you this." He placed   
something on the couch but I couldn't bring myself to turn and look. I was   
furious.   
"Clark, it's…" He began but stopped, Lex, lost for words. I would have   
found it funny at any other time. What would it take to get a Luthor to   
apologize? My father's words were creeping into me – and ringing true.  
I finally turned to look at him, and I'm sure Lex could see the anger in my   
eyes; he actually took a step back.  
He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. I heard him sigh. "Happy   
Birthday Clark."  
I let myself gaze down at his present, it wasn't wrapped.  
The compass.  
I had seen it in a window about three months ago. It wasn't expensive, but it   
had meaning. I remember pointing it out to Lex and hearing him say   
something about how I was his compass of right and wrong. Keeping him   
on the straight and narrow, you know, not having any fun. I remember   
laughing when he'd said it. I went to go and buy it the next week, but it was   
gone.  
He had bought it, and kept it. Until now. As I sat on the couch and picked it   
up, Lex turned and walked down the stairs.  
"How could you Lex?" My voice was much stronger then I'd thought it   
would be. My eyes were tearing up again. I hadn't cried, had willed myself   
not to cry, since… just talking about it made it… harder. I turned the   
compass over in my hands, shit, it was engraved: To Clark my moral   
compass Your Friend Lex Luthor.  
"Clark, I can't give you an excuse."  
"You could try." I looked up at him; he had his hands in his pockets, long   
sleeves, even in the summer heat. He was wearing blue; I always told him   
he should wear more blue.  
"You want me to tell you it didn't mean anything, it didn't. It hasn't   
happened before and it won't again."  
"That's not good enough! You knew how I felt about…all this time you tried   
to set me up with her, what was that?"  
"That was an honest attempt to make you happy. But Clark, Whitney's been   
gone for three years, they've been apart for almost two, and you haven't   
done anything."  
"So you thought you'd move right in." I placed the compass next to me   
laying my hand on it lightly. The feel of the metal was the only thing   
keeping me in one piece.  
"That's not what I meant Clark."  
"So how did it happen?"   
"I don't know, I've misused your trust, maybe everyone was right…"  
"No Lex, you don't get off that easy." I was on my feet now, fists clenched.   
Anger came so quickly.  
"You're going to hit me Clark, I deserve it."  
I looked down and took a deep breath, no I couldn't hit him, I'd kill him if I   
did.  
"Clark." Lex took a step towards me with an out reached hand.  
"Don't Lex," I was almost shouting now, yelling every thought that came   
into my head. "You knew, and don't tell me she kissed you! I saw, you   
weren't pushing her away, and you kissed back! You were holding her, and   
why did you when you knew I loved you." Oh shit, wrong pronoun.  
"What did you say Clark?" Lex's head shot up, looking me dead in the eyes.  
"Her, I loved…her." Why did I say him? Because I love him not her. Damn.  
"But that's not what you said."  
"I made a mistake." It was hard to lie with him staring right through me.  
"I don't think you did." He stepped closer. "Why are you really upset Clark?   
Is it because I was kissing Lana or because I wasn't kissing you?"   
His voice wasn't angry it was more soothing, quiet, and it just made me   
think.  
I was angry because Lex was kissing Lana but I was also angry because it   
was Lex who was kissing Lana. If it were Pete, would I be this upset? No.   
But Lex is my best friend. So is Pete. If Lex kissed Chloe, yep same anger.   
Pete kissing Chloe, nope. The voices in my head really have to start getting   
along.   
"Lex it's just that I really think…" What did I really think? I think I'm in   
love with Lex Luthor. Quite a revelation to have on your 18th birthday.  
"Are you in love with me Clark?" Leave it to Lex to be so direct. I looked   
right into his eyes and, over whelming, the voices shouted yes.  
"Yes."  
"Clark." Another step and Lex was kissing me. It was just a kiss. A kiss that   
made my knees shake. Lex had grabbed a handful of my hair and was   
kissing my mouth like he needed it to breath. And I let him. Let him claim   
my mouth with a need I didn't know existed, and that I returned. My arms   
wrapped around him like I never wanted to let him go. This was turning into   
an interesting birthday…  
  
_____________________________________________________________  
  
I can't explain how it happened. Lana came to my office upset that the   
Talon was closing down. I had done everything in my power to keep the   
little coffee shop open, but it still couldn't stand on it's own two feet. I   
really didn't want her around. But then she started to cry, and a women   
crying is just something that I can't ignore. So I hugged her and I am not a   
touchy feely person, but in the last four years this town has changed me.   
Suddenly we were kissing. I couldn't tell you who started it but as I closed   
my eyes, I wished it were someone else.   
And then he appeared. I felt him in the room even before I opened my eyes   
and I knew. I had made a big mistake. That just happened to be the   
understatement of the year.  
As Lana turned her head, I saw in Clark's eyes an anger I haven't seen since   
Pete tried to kill me, only this time he wasn't acting.   
What have I done?  
"Clark I…" I began but he cut me off.  
"Let me guess, this isn't what it looks like." His eyes were glossy from tears   
that wouldn't fall, and he turned away. I ran down the hall after him calling   
his name.   
I had hurt my best friend.   
I called him that night but his mother told me he had gone to bed. He was   
avoiding me. I didn't call again. I wasn't sure if there was anything I could   
say to make it better. I had kissed the girl he loved. The girl he had   
dreamed of for a lifetime. So I avoided him too.   
Four nights later it was Clark's birthday. I had been invited to the party   
about a week ago but now…  
I needed to talk to him. I hadn't gone this long without speaking to Clark in   
at least three years. It was…unsettling.   
I drove past the house at 10:30, all the lights were out except for the tell tale   
glow in the barn. So I walked up, sure he'd heard the car pull in.  
As I entered the barn he didn't greet me like he usually did, bounding down   
the stairs with a huge smile on his face. Instead I walked all the way up to   
the loft before even seeing him, his back to me. Ignoring my existence,   
choosing not to see.  
I had his gift with me. A compass I had picked up about three months ago   
from an antique store window. I remember joking with Clark about him   
being my compass of right and wrong, and how he'd smiled at me. I wanted   
him to smile like that again. I had had it engraved, but now it just didn't   
seem like enough. The Luthor way of buying friendship.   
"Clark?" It came out softer then I had planned.  
He still didn't answer, and I knew he had every right never to speak to me   
again.  
"I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and give you this." I placed the   
unwrapped compass on the couch, but still he didn't turn.  
"Clark, it's…" I wanted to say something but I couldn't. I couldn't find the   
words. Hard to believe.  
When Clark turned to me the same look was in his eyes, only strangely   
sadder and more resigned. It scared me though, the thought that this would   
be the last way Clark would ever look at me. I took a step back.  
Again words escaped me. I sighed, there was nothing else I could do.  
Then he noticed the compass. He recognized it, I saw it in his face as he sat   
down and lightly fingered it. He didn't speak, so I turned to walk away.  
"How could you Lex?" the voice made me stop and turn. He was on the   
verge of tears. Crying, I have a weakness for people I care about who cry.   
I stuck my hands in my pockets. It was a security thing I picked up when I   
was thirteen and my father would bring me to his fancy parties. I hated   
touching everyone's hands so I stuck mine in my pockets. Now it just kept   
me from reaching out and touching Clark.   
"Clark, I can't give you an excuse."   
"You could try." There was small desperation in his voice. He was giving   
me a chance. Probably my last one.  
"You want me to tell you it didn't mean anything, it didn't. It hasn't   
happened before and it won't again." I wished I could just say I was sorry.  
"That's not good enough! You knew how I felt about… all this time you   
tried to set me up with her, what was that?"  
"That was an honest attempt to make you happy. But Clark Whitney's been   
gone for three years, they've been apart for almost two, and you haven't   
done anything."  
"So you thought you'd move right in."  
What? No. "That's not what I meant Clark." She's not the one I want to be   
happy. Not the one I want to be with.  
"So how did it happen?"  
"I don't know," It was hard to explain to Clark without letting my feelings   
for him be known. I fell in love with him a long time ago. But I couldn't   
ruin him, just being selfish. If he was someone else, anyone else, yes, but not   
Clark. "I've misused your trust, maybe everyone was right…"  
Clark was up on his feet in a blink of an eye.   
"No Lex you don't get off that easy." Oh my God he was going to hit me.   
And all I could think about was how beautiful he was.  
"You're going to hit me Clark, I deserve it." I was preparing myself for a   
punch in the face, but Clark softened as suddenly as he'd angered.  
I took a cautious step towards him. "Clark."  
"Don't Lex." It was then I realized that my hands, which were only a few   
moments ago safe in their pockets, were now reaching out to Clark.  
Clark was still speaking, though I never heard his words, "…and why did   
you when you knew I loved you." My eyes shot up.   
"What did you say Clark?" Please.  
"Her, I loved…her." The boy was such a terrible lair.   
"That's not what you said." That's not what you meant; I know it, admit it.   
Clark at least admit this to me.  
"I made a mistake." Another lie. Stop Clark.  
"I don't think you did." I stepped closer. "Why are you really upset Clark? Is   
it because I was kissing Lana or because I wasn't kissing you?" Bold   
question but I kept my voice as soft as possible, my body trembling for his   
answer.  
Clark seemed deep in thought, staring at his shoes like they would hold all   
the answers of the universe if he could just look at them long enough.  
"Lex it's just that I really think…" Come on Clark what do you really think.   
I need this, I need to know this. Is this just some sick fantasy, or could it be   
real?  
"Are you in love with me Clark?" Leave it to a Luthor to be so direct. But   
Clark looked at me then, staring straight through me like he usually does and   
I saw it in his eyes even before I heard his voice.  
"Yes."  
"Clark." Another step and I kissed him. It was just a kiss. A kiss that made   
my knees shake. Clark's hands were at my waist and I grabbed a handful of   
that hair. It felt just like I'd thought it would, soft, thick. I was claiming his   
mouth, wanting to crawl right inside him, and he was playing my game.   
Clark was returning my kiss with a fever all his own.  
His arms were strong around me. Love, so this is what it felt like.  
As the kiss faded, never quite broken, leading to smaller, softer kisses, we   
said no words. What words could be said after an action that spoke volumes.   
Tomorrow, we would speak of it tomorrow, but tonight we confessed our   
love. 


End file.
